Before the State Of The Union

• kthalps: guys, the only way obama can repeal dont ask dont tell is if we dont ask dont tell. so shut up abt it. duh!

State Of The Union Starts
kthalps: I guess we’ll have accept third-place “I do not accept second-place for the United States of America.” -Barack Obama.#SOTU #Union address

• kthalps: joe biden blinks a lot. Nancy Pelosi barely blinks. Between the two of them, they blink at an average rate. #SOTU
• kthalps: did Joe Biden & Nancy Pelosi coordinate wearing purple (tie and suit, respectively)? And was that a reference 2 shades of blue/red = purple
• kthalps: looks like America is united by collective desire to punish banks!
• kthalps: u know Sandra Sotomayor had 2 use all self control 2 not slap Alito for saying “not true” #SOTU
• kthalps: I wrote Sandra Sotomayor intentionally. I was honoring O’Conner 4 opening door for female judges like Sonia. DUH!

After SOTU
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Scott Brown's victory was a truly historic moment. For the first time in recent history, a senator-elect announced the dating status of his daughters: "For anyone watching around the country, they're both available." Well, that's not entirely true. "Arianna's definitely not available," he said. "But Ayla is!" (Check out the video here) In all fairness, Ayla is used to being in the spotlight and being embarrassed, since she was an American Idol contestant. Her father is no stranger to idolatry, having modeled nude for the centerfold of Cosmo.

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Anyone who has ever been caught with his pants down knows it's easier to look up to Jesus than it is to squat down into a lotus position. So Brit Hume, Fox News commentator and moonlighting theologian, is urging the troubled Tiger Woods to mend his skirt-chasing and om-chanting ways by embracing Christ. On Fox News Sunday, Hume preached that

"The extent to which he can recover seems to me depends on his faith... He is said to be a Buddhist. I don't think that faith offers the kind of forgiveness and redemption that is offered by the Christian faith. My message to Tiger would be, 'Tiger, turn to the Christian faith and you can make a total recovery and be a great example to the world.'"

 Hume knows a thing or too about redemption. After all, he is a recovering sinner himself, having once been divorced and -- even worse -- a liberal. But the now-remarried conservative has seen the light. If Woods would accept Jesus Christ as his lord and savior, Hume and the entire Christian world would accept this glorious golfer and forgive his swinging tendencies.
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The Health Care vote in the house was close. And it still needs to pass the Senate. Poor branding, such as the term Public Option, didn't help the cause. But it's not too late to win the support of Republican enemies and the Teabaggers who control them. I submit a list of re-branding alternatives that will have Obamacare foes supporting health care reform faster than you can say Death Panels! Vote on which one will have the Teabaggers Teabagging for reform.
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The Private Option
The Keep the Government out of my Medicare/ Medicaid Option
• The Eternal Life Panels Option
• The "This Option Kills Commies" Option
• The "This Option Defeats Gay Marriage" Option

Like my fellow American patriots, I refuse to sit by while the Nazi Marxist President sends storm troops of Dr Mengeles to pull the plug on millions of grannies. Just keep out of our persona lives. My health care is my business and it's between me myself and I(nsurance companies.) Up until yesterday, I was telling the government to stay out of my granny's Medicare, which works just fine, thank you very much. But I recently learned that Medicare is actually government provided, public-option program (they're a sly, wily and sneaky bunch of Jews, they are.) And, because I'm no hypocrite, I'm putting my money where my mouth is and un-enrolling Granny from Medicare. If Medicare spreads to younger people, I will reject all benefits. My fellow Americans who say no to government takeover of our lives and organs, won't you please join me in my boycott of government funded health insurance? Sign the NO PUBLIC OPTION pledge!

For those of us on Medicare or with a family member on Medicare:

I ______
oppose the Nazi-Communist infiltration of my personal life via Medicare, and thus reject all Medicare benefits for myself and my family.

 
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Expert economist and seasoned diplomat* Jon Voight isn't the only one on to the "fellow who's bringing us to chaos and socialism." All you have to do is look at Obama's trip to the Middle East to see his darker, more Muslimer, elitister, and inexperienceder side.

Obama is such an elitist, he makes his staff ride camels. Guess there's no room for them in his Prius.

Obama is so experienced and inappropriate, he thinks it's ok for Hillary Clinton to pretend to be a mime outside of a Mosque.

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