Pirates of the Caribbean
This Pirate Won't Loot the Food
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Pirates? Aaaargh.
I don't care how much -money it made this weekend. Really. It got my matinee bucks, and I want them back. I also want the 2.5 hours of my life I spent in the theatre back.
Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest was bloody awful. 
Bugger.
Because I so wanted a couple hours' worth of escape. I enjoyed the first one, and I admired Johnny Depp's Captain Jack Swallow. I laughed. This time, I winced. Depp's performance felt like a parody of a parody; once you've established that a character is over-the-top, how do you top it in the sequel? By making it insufferable.
I'm not going to give away the plot, so don't worry that there are spoilers here. There was an attempt to create a complexity of plot by spinning out several spools of plot thread simultaneously, and trusting the audience to keep them all straight in their heads. All this, while being visibly revolted by the denizens of The Flying Dutchman. This time, the movie producers went for grotesque rather than spooky.
Pirates of the Caribbean | Johnny Depp























