politicians

Thanks for Dick Cheney

Joel S. Hirschhorn

When someone in high elected office shows the nation how vulnerable our Constitution is, we should be thankful for the wakeup call. Like many ruthless dictators, evil kings, and monster generals, Dick Cheney is the leading practitioner of the ends-justify-the-means mentality, where only his vision of the desired ends counts. And if this means disregarding and disobeying the Constitution, torturing prisoners, killing thousands of American soldiers, disrespecting Congress, destroying our environment, embracing the invasion of illegal immigrants, increasing out national debt, and disregarding the will of the vast majority of Americans, so be it. Serving corporate interests rather than serving the people is Cheney’s brand of patriotism.

Cheney’s self-righteous ego is bigger than George W. Bush’s, and what makes Cheney more striking is that he is enormously smarter and more competent than Bush, his token boss. He is so dangerous and frightening that no impeachment of Bush effort ever stood a chance. Not as long as “President Cheney” enters your consciousness. Cheney became Bush’s shield.

When reality hits the fan we use the-lessons-learned approach to stay sane. With his finger-in-the-eye disdain for what anybody else (or history) thinks of him, Cheney offers a far better lesson learned benefit than the stumbles and fumbles of Bush-the-smirker. Bush is a joke. Cheney is a monster.

On the eve of the election, I would like to remind the Democrats that you work for me. And for her. And for him. You work for the homeless and the gays and the farmers and the uninsured and the minorities and the innocent until proven guilty by something other than the Patriot Act.

I am voting Democrat straight down the line and none of you better let me down. I am going to watch you like a hawk and if you do not fufill your end of the deal, I am going to do all I can in my power to make sure you are severely reprimanded. After all, this is the only instance that I know of in which the employee makes more than the employer, so I feel that I should speak up when you do something I do not like, which happens quite frequently. For example, something like not standing up for health care for every American. You remember... the kind of issue you go on and on about right before the election, only to forget about after you are in office enjoying really decadent lunches that I think you might be charging to me. Why, with all that fatty food you enjoy, it is a good thing that you have such great health coverage!

So, I just thought I should clear all of this up in case you gain control of Congress, the governor's mansion, and the courts. And even if you do not become the majority, please do not be so submissive in your minority status, as you were during this latest outbreak of war. Perhaps if we bomb Iran, you can be a bit more vocal in your protests as you are chauffeured around town.

It knows no party boundaries.
It is not caused by alcoholism.
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