Dear Friends and Relatives:

I have the distinguished honor of being named to the committee to raise $5,000,000 for a monument to George W. Bush. I am contacting you in hopes you will be willing to contribute to this noble cause. But first, a little about what the committee has been doing to date.

We originally wanted to put him on Mount Rushmore until we discovered that there was not enough room for two more faces.

We then decided to erect a statue of George in the Washington, DC,Hall of Fame. We were in a quandary as to where the statue should be placed. It was not proper to place it beside the statue of George Washington, who never told a lie, or beside Richard Nixon, who never told the truth,since George could never tell the difference.

We finally decided to place it beside Christopher Columbus, the greatest Republican of all. He left not knowing where he was going,and when he got there he did not know where he was. He returned not knowing where he had been, decimated the well-being of the majority of the population while he was there, and did it all on someone else's money.

Thank you,
George W. Bush Monument Committee

P. S. The Committee has raised $1.35 so far. So please be generous.