Liza:

Thank you for having the courage to address this from a personal perspective, based on your personal experience.

Your family and mine had a lot in common, to tell from your description of the alcoholism. Unfortunately, living in circumstances like those prepares us nicely to feel uncomfortably very much at home in similarly abusive circumstances outside of our own families.

As far as I'm concerned, what happened to you was, indeed, a "rape," based on your description. In most states, any unconsented intromission of anything, anywhere, is considered to be a rape. It is precisely because such circumstances can result in serious medical consequences like pregnancy and fatal diseases that the consent should be clear and unforced.

One doesn't have to be raped at gunpoint or by multiple people for it to be a rape. We always have to be careful not not minimize or deny the severity of things that happen to us. It's realizing how very severe things are that sometimes gives us the courage and determination to steadfastly refuse to be involved in such situations in the future.

And, as you've found, getting out of the abusive relationships and realizing that we deserve much more is the starting point toward finding the love and caring that all of us deserve.

"Only after we change that which seemed essential do we realize how natural the "new normal" really is and how inevitable it always was."

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