"Being discriminated for being gay is not the same as being discriminated for not being the picture of perfect 'white supremacy'."

No, it's not. But it's not entirely different either.

I guess my question is why you chose to develop a parsimonious reading of Loving.

Miscegination laws took a social practice, and codified it as the perception of threat grew in the minds of the powerful. DOMA is no different on that ground.

And frankly, i don't think queer folk were the first to experience self-hatred. Passing isn't the only manifestation of that, either. yes, these are different experiences. but in this case, we're looking at a legal mechanism that is remarkably similar. this is not the time to play up the contrasts, imo.