Nancy Pelosi

(Written in satire. A literal trasnlation for the tonally impaired is available upon request.)

This weekend I went to Austin, Texas, to attend the third annual Netroots [Aryan] Nation, the convention formerly known as Yearly Kos and recently called a "Klan gathering" by Bill O'Reilly. I agree with O'Reilly that "including the Nazis and the Klan... there is not a more hateful group in the country than the Daily Kos People." I too hate this hateful conference, which encourages democracy, open politics, participatory democracy, grass roots organizing and other Nazi-ish thing. But I attend each year, under the guise of a Laughing Liberally comic and Living Liberally leader, in order to counter the lies of the liberal media, who receive their talking points and marching orders directly from Subcomandante Markos [Moulitsas]. I go because somebody needs to document the atrocities that are ignored by the appeasement era press and distorted by the Netroots deniers. I go to show the world the truth. I go to say Never Again.

So, here are some of the things you won't hear from the liberal media about the four-day gathering of over 2,000 progressive bloggers, journalists, politicians and activists.

1. The netroots are so vicious that Obama was forced to flee to the relative safety of Afghanistan.

2. The netroots are reconsidering their position on FISA. Although they were disappointed with Obama's vote and his absence from the conference, they have now realized that thanks to the new FISA law, Obama could hear everything they said.

3. The surprise guest was no surpirse. Everyone knew the surprise guest would be Al Gore. Duh! He is the inventor of the series of tubes known as the internets.

4. Al Gore proved global warming is real, beyond the shadow of a doubt. I'll admit it, I was a skeptic about global warming. But that was before I saw Al Gore speak live. Because what An Inconvenient Truth doesn't capture, is Gore's presence, energy, and sweat. After watching Gore sweat in an air-conditioned convention hall, it is impossible not to believe in global warming.

5. Al Gore is anti-American. During his speech, Gore mentioned wind turbines several times. Well, wind baseball caps are fine with me, Mr. Vice President. Love it or leave it!

6. The Socialist Party made a debut at the Convention. The convention has had Democrats and recovering Republicans. But this year for the first time, with Nancy Pelosi's attendance, the conference hosted a member of the Socialist Party.

7. Nancy Pelosi has sound judgment (for a Socialist). The Speaker of the House is a radical San Franciscan and a pusher of the Homosexual agenda, Yet when she spoke in Austin, Pelosi demonstrated sound judgment and astute reasoning through her vibrant mint green pants suit, a tasteful Clinton-Cleavage-free blouse, neutral but elegant tan heels, and warm honey highlights.

8. Donna Edwards does not belong in politics. If I learned anything from Representative Edwards' keynote speech, it's that she is too honest, hard-working, passionate, genuine, inspired, and inspiring to be in Congress. What is she thinking?

9. Contrary to popular belief, bloggers do have a sense of humor. The Netroots Nation gift bags included condoms.

10. John McCain should not be misunderestimated by the netroots. After all, McCain is already "aware of the internet." By next year's convention in Pittsburgh, the maverick may know how to get online.

George W. Bush commutes Scooter Libby's 30-month jail sentence for lying under oath and obstruction of justice in the Plame Case. This proves that he not only runs the White House like a mafia but, if he could, he would whack all of Congress and run a totalitarian government.

Raw Story reports:

Libby did not receive a pardon, but he did have his 30 month jail sentence commuted by President Bush. He remains guilty of the felonies of perjury, obstruction of justice, and making false statements in the federal investigation of the outing of covert CIA agent Valerie Plame Wilson. He will also pay a $250,000 fine.

I challenge any republican to justify this move and try to rationalize it as anything other than being a good Xian. This is the biggest F**k you Bush could have given to Congress. As John Conyers' said, "this decision is inconsistent with the rule of law". With this commuting Bush is sending a strong message that he approves of lying under oath and breaking the law for political gain.

Nancy Pelosi also has some harsh words for Bush:

The President’s commutation of Scooter Libby’s prison sentence does not serve justice, condones criminal conduct, and is a betrayal of trust of the American people.

from Talk to Action

As Hillary Clinton, Barack Obama and John Edwards got right with Jesus and the only "single-issue voters" that rate the Democratic Party's approval, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi tried talking the talk to enlist "pro-life" support for funding stem cell research.

House Speaker Nancy Pelosi has drawn guffaws from the pro-life community for comments saying that embryonic stem cell research, which involves the destruction of days-old human embryos, is a "gift from God." Her remarks came after the House approved a bill to force Americans to fund it.

"Science is a gift of God to all of us, and science has taken us to a place that is biblical in its power to cure... And that is embryonic stem cell research," Pelosi said.

As Pelosi speaks of God’s gift of science, a Democratic Congress votes to spend $27 million more on abstinence-only programs and crisis pregnancy centers (CPCs) than Bush had even asked for — thereby ensuring an increase in the rate of sexually transmitted infections and abortions among young people — while dumping millions of our tax dollars into the coffers of the same Religious Right abstinence-only industry working to criminalize safe abortion care, abolish stem cell research, and defeat the Prevention First program that Democrats claim to consider a high legislative priority.

While these politicians might fudge their positions on "a woman's right to choose," this action undeniably stamps them as just what the Religious Right accuses them of being: pro-abortion — because despite all their meaningless cant about "reducing the number of abortions," increasing the number of abortions is the only thing that abstinence-only programs guarantee to accomplish.

You bloggers really are becoming the 800 pound Gorilla in the room.

That is what a good friend said to me today (paraphrased), I think with some surprise behind it. He will laugh that I am using that line, but in retrospect it really set the tone for this evening.

My friend is a major player in Brooklyn politics. I'd say who because I have lots good to say and he has some ambitions, but I think he prefers to keep his name out of the blogs. But today he said that bloggers have become the 800 lb. Gorilla in the room. I laughed and let it pass as we talked about local politics. But tonight I kept coming back to that statement as I stood, among some of the biggest big wigs of the party, and realized that it was true.

Yesterday a bunch of us got invited as guests to a major DCCC dinner in Manhattan honoring Nancy Pelosi. This really was playing with the big boys, and we got invited. The venue was Cipriani, a prime ballroom on Wall Street with Corinthian columns that make everyone, even Eliot Spitzer, look short. The ceiling is dilapidated and needs major restoration, but the rest of the place was spectacular...in a way that is gaudy and I largely dislike. But this is the kind of place where the big boys play.

I got there early. The doorman sneered at me, and asked in disbelief, "Are you a guest?" I said yes and he ushered me in. Largely he was the only one to condescend. With the exception of a few snotty big shots, people were very friendly and enthusiastic. I got a glass of red wine (an excellent Merlot) and was settling into observation mode. Just as a string quartet poised way up on a balcony began playing, Eliot Spitzer walked into the still largely empty room. I should have gone up and said hello.

I have come to depend on Brad Friedman's mailings on everything having to do with Diebold's voting machines. So it is with great curiosity that I read a missive that contained this:

I am calling on Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid to keep next week's joint session of Congress open after Bush's speech to allow Jim Webb, who has smartly been selected to deliver the Democratic Response, to deliver it live to the full Congressional chamber instead of via the usual, limp, in-studio response with no audience, which few even bother to actually watch.

Go read his article at Congressional Dems - You're a Co-Equal Branch, the State of the Union Address is the Perfect Opportunity to Point That.

Oh my ... Jim Webb live on the floor of Congress giving a retort to George Bush. Can you picture that one?

Oh my.

Here's Ms. Pelosi's contact information if you need it :

In 2006 Americans gave a clear message: stop the war in Iraq and focus on America's security and economy.

The Democrats heard the message as within the first 100 hours of the new Congress, House Democrats passed a minimum wage increase, the first raise the poorest working Americans have gotten in nearly 10 years. Republicans have maximized CEO profits, now Democrats give working Americans a boost. Eighty House Republicans also heard America's message and joined Democrats, indicating that bipartisanship can work. I want to point out that this the minimum wage has not even kept up with inflation, meaning America's poorest have lost ground in the last 10 years. This change is long overdue.

Also within the frist 100 hours, House Democrats voted to implement the bipartisan recommendations of the 9/11 committee, something Bush and the previous Republican dominated Congress failed to do. This is also long overdue.

If Senate follows suit, we will already have gotten our money's worth from the Democratic Congress.

Meanwhile, Bush seems to have completely missed the message sent by voters. His big idea is to immerse us further in the Iraq quagmire he created by sending 21,500 more troops of our already over-extended military to Iraq. So Bush failed to implement the bipartisan 9/11 commission's recommendations to make America more secure, but he wants to continue to fight a war against people who had nothing to do with attacks on America on 9/11.

I consider this very appropriate for my 100th issue. Here is an outline of Pelosi's plan for the first 100 hours of the new Congress. She will need out help in accomplishing it all so quickly. From the Washington Post (from October...BEFORE the election):

Day One: Put new rules in place to "break the link between lobbyists and legislation."

Day Two: Enact all the recommendations made by the commission that investigated the terrorist attacks of Sept. 11, 2001.

Time remaining until 100 hours: Raise the minimum wage to $7.25 an hour, maybe in one step. Cut the interest rate on student loans in half. Allow the government to negotiate directly with the pharmaceutical companies for lower drug prices for Medicare patients.

Broaden the types of stem cell research allowed with federal funds _ "I hope with a veto-proof majority," she added in an Associated Press interview Thursday.

All the days after that: "Pay as you go," meaning no increasing the deficit, whether the issue is middle class tax relief, health care or some other priority.

To do that, she said, Bush-era tax cuts would have to be rolled back for those above "a certain level." She mentioned annual incomes of $250,000 or $300,000 a year and higher, and said tax rates for those individuals might revert to those of the Clinton era. Details will have to be worked out, she emphasized.

Yahoo!News is reporting that Democrats have voted against Nancy Pelosi's pick for #2 in Congress. Instead of backing John Murtha, a career congressman with an ethics-challenged past whose almost redeemed himself by becoming the patron saint against the Iraq War, Democrats have voted in Representative Steny H. Hoyer (D-MD 5th).

More from AP :

Hoyer was elected on a vote of 149-86.

The balloting marked a personal triumph for him, but also a snub to Pelosi, moments after the rank and file selected her unanimously to become speaker when the House convenes in January.

Ouch.

I hate, nay, detest Bob Novack; yet I find a fascinating read his description of the power jockeying around these internal elections :