Queen Latifah

The kind of triangulating race-bating the Clintonistas have unleashed on Barack Obama is giving me and a lot of other negroes a communal headache.

In times like these, it is necessary to break open a bottle and pop a few in the hopes of not having to invoke the name of Rodney King.

Enjoy!

On Friday, May 11th, the indie circuit will feature the debut of a film titled The Hip Hop Project. One showing is going to be down the street from my law school at The Charles, our independent theater hub in Baltimore. I hear someone making the rounds on our local hip-hop station and our local Fox affiliate, hyping this project, and it sounds very positive and very bold. Being in my usual early morning stupor, I don't know who is behind this voice, but the message was enough to get me moving. Here's a link to the trailer:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8emq1rtBnec

Even in the release of the film to the public, the movie has challenged assumptions about its content -- direct and indirect. The MPAA tried to slap an "R" rating on the film because it uses the word "fuck" 17 times throughout the movie, which barely spans an hour and a half. According to XXL Mag, the backers of the movie project appealed, and the board voted to change its rating to "PG-13," meaning hopefully it will reach more audiences and have wider influence. The net proceeds of the movie will be used for the benefit of youth organizations.

Through Hip Hop Press, I found more information about the movie and project initiative:

La negra here likes her gossip and pop culture blogs. After a day of being high on mothering, politics and web development I have to wind down on a more earthy note. My nightly treats include my first blog love, The Corsair (exaggerated cough suggesting feigned detachment), my new BFF Perez Hilton, Ms Thing Miu Von Furstenberg and my new loves, D Listed, Crunk and Disorderly, Concrete Loop. Then there's FourFour.

Rich Juzwiak has become my go-to guy for the hysterically funny blow-by-blow recaps he turns out every week for America's Top Model, Project Runway and the "because the parody writes itself" of Being Bobby Brown. Rich has turned TV digesting into a comedic tour de force.

He also has become one of my music sources. It's his writing of pop music, sometimes supplying his own mashups and mixes that makes this man shine as a pop culture critic.

It's no wonder I have turned into Steve Jobs wet dream.

I had to watch the Golden Globes. The've made their irrelevancy relevant and it's like a car crash, you just have to look even though you know what happened and what the outcome will be.

So I watched, to swoon a little over my imaginary boyfriend, Viggo Mortensen; the man who holds an EZPass for the express lane to my loins.

Beauty and the beasts. Isn't he dreamy con ese tajo que me voy a devorar ... yummy yummy goo.

Anyhow, this year I officially turn old; and the older I get, the louder my dirty old woman self grows. I had me a couple of molester moments with Drew Barrymore and Scarlett Johansen.

Ahhh Drew, Drew. Those tatas, trapped in that dress where the punkest most "fuck you" statement of the whole night. Look at them! They're gorgeous! I would so totally go lesbian on her.

Then there's that hussy Scarlett. She's half my age, but girl, I'd so rock her craddle:

Look at those babies. They hang exactly where they ought to be. Natural, free-range, totally organic breasts.

While we are at it, an honorable mention to Queen Latifah who underwent breast REDUCTION surgery years ago. She's looking hot these days, although I hear I don't have to go all lesbian on her because she is already there. Hell-yeah?!

BTW, I missed Isaac Mizrahi's on-camera molestation of Scarlett's kachangas. I love me some Isaac. When I dream of a gay husband (and I do, I honestly want to have one of those), I dream of him being like Isaac. I mean, I'd have a hot guy and a mad fabulous apartment and closet. I'd never have to buy anything because he'd spend his days and nights just shopping for me ... and that's so hot!

Last two bits :

Isn't she a bit overexposed? I love Evan Longoria's dress, but as a latina, I am going to be honest, that white looking nose really bothers the shit out of me. Then again, she's one hermana that likes them black and big. Go Eva! Just don't go spreading your tales of brazilian waxes and dildos all over the place like that. Open a blog girl! Get that stuff on a blog!

Last but not least, my imaginary mother, Catherine Deneuve. The woman is over sixty and I think it's criminal she's looking this gorgeous :

My long-time readers know I'm a Puerto Rican bi-racial mutt : my mom is white and my dad is black. When I was a kid, I'd fantasize I was the Mandingo kid of Catherine Deneuve. And yes, I did see the movie and with my mom, none the less.

Now you know why I am so screwed up.