Washington DC

As if we don't already know, today is Trent Lott Appreciation Day. While this is a great step forward for mankind, Lott, featured above rocking his signature hip hop dance move, deserves so much more than one day of Appreciation. Because Lott is so much more than a mere mortal and senator. Did you know he was also

1. a misunderstood STD: Of course Lott is an STD (Strom Thurmond-defending); and outspoken segregationist. But Trent is no racist, and is as opposed to racism and Strom Thurmond was opposed to miscegenation. He is actually color blind. Lamenting the Sunni/Shiite hoopla, Lott said: "It's hard for Americans, all of us, including me, to understand what's wrong with these people. Why do they hate each other? Why do Sunnis kill Shiites? How do they tell the difference? They all look the same to me." See! Like Steven Colbert, Lott doesn't even see color, or ethnicity!
2. a salt of the earth working man One of the many exploited workers in Washington D.C., and part of the great Capitol Hill to K street migration, Lott recently left politics in search of a better life and a living wage as a lobbyist. Luckily, and purely coincidentally, by stepping down before the end of the year, Lott avoided a law, that was about to come into effect, requiring that senators wait two years after retiring before they start lobbying their former colleagues.
3. a martyr: as if the abject poverty faced by senators weren't enough, Trent's economic woes were only worsened by Hurricane Katrina. Nobody felt Trent's pain more than the President himself, seen here either trying to hold back tears or looking at a pretty molding on the ceiling, who said:
   
   

Where is St. Patrick now that we need him?

One of the legendary saint's big claims to fame -- other than eventually becoming the nominal excuse for what a friend of mine once called "Mardi Gras for red-haired people with freckles," of course -- is that he is said to have chased all the snakes out of Ireland way back when.

Too bad he's not around today, because we could sure use somebody to chase all the snakes out of Washington. Our own national Babylon-on-the-Potomac is heavily over-infested with them these days, too.

Snakes to the left of us, snakes to the right of us. You can't cross the Mall in D.C. anymore without stepping over (or, preferably, on) some scaly serpent. You can't hit a K Street lobbyist with a wad of hundreds without staring some spineless viper right in the eyes.

And if you happen to work for the VP's office or the DOJ, well, you'll have to look straight up just to watch one of those nasty aspies slither on by over your head. The place really is crawling with snakes, especially after the last six years or so. Those nine guys in the black robes couldn't figure out how to count votes, but they were still adders anyway.

Snakes. Why'd it have to be snakes? We hate snakes.

Ok, the wifi in this hotel just totally sucks. The same thing happened at the Take Back America conference last year. People! The Washington Hilton suckkkkkkkks.

Anyhow, I am really excited.

Howard Dean is talking about being a proud Democrat ... after Reid's mellowness people are just ready to throw their panties at Howard. He just knows how to work a crowd.

At least I am getting a good show. I left at 4:40am after literally jumping into the train whilst it was leaving the station. This after only 3 hours of sleep because last night we had a knock out fundraiser in NYC that raised more than 100K for the Craig Johson campaign.

We rocked last night. We really hit it out of the ball park and it's with that energy that I am here.

Howard just said "no escalation" and people are jumping out of their chairs. What's amazing about Howard is that physically he is not that big a guy, but put him in front of a podium and in front of a crowd --big or small-- and he just whips people into frenzy. He is that charismatic speakers I have ever had the pleasure to hear.

This is really interesting. This is really a business meeting. He is explaining how the process is going to proceed. The order of presidential candidates was set by lottery. Howard is itemizing the rules of engagement and they even include how the music is going to be played when each candidate comes out. That was funny, he said, "I didn't make up these rules". All the candidates have only 7 minutes to talk and they've been warned that they will be cut off.

I am not here to start a campaign. I am here to start a conversation with our country.

She was introduced by Tobias, treasurer to the DNC. Booooring. Then he said her name, the room went ape shit. Seriously.

Clinton has just said that more people went bankrupt last year than graduated from college ... there was a collective, OH! from the audience.

Her message is all about economics, about how people are going bankrupt, that there is no middle class, that jobs being lost to China.

Uh-oh ... people are heckling Clinton over the "non-binding" resolution.

"Had I been the President in 2002, I would not have gone into war".

"If this Congress doesnt end the war, in 2009 as president I will".

She is talking about her experience with the health care bill project and is talking about how she learned from that experience.

She is talking about her "life time of experience" and about "knowing a thing or two about winning campaigns".

She's just given a whole laundry list of her accomplishments ... "We can elect the first woman president ... We can stop global warming ... We can stop the genocide in Darfur ... we can end the war in Iraq ... "

And the crowd goes wild ... to the best song yet (as per Michael) of any of the campaigns. I unfortunately have no idea what the song is, but it's interesting how all these candidates have "a song".