Oh the Places You'll Go! -- But Then What'll You See?

Dr. Seuss titled one of his illustrated stories, "Oh the Places You'll Go!"

Today I offer two short stories to illustrate that wherever you go and whatever you see, what matters most is why you go and what you think you're looking for.

My two little stories are word-for-word true;
I wrote them down right after they happened.

I do that often, figuring my purpose in life is faithful witness to the lives I love.

Susan Sarandon in "Shall We Dance?" dismisses her private detective when she realizes mature love isn't about power and control or even knowledge, that she and Richard Gere are "witness" to each other's life and that what she sees depends on why she's looking. So she determines to change her own focus -- and that change in her eye as beholder makes all the difference.

That's the story I see at home. We unschool and always have, which means only that there is no "in loco parentis" in our living arrangements. I see myself as privileged witness for my children, not a teacher, preacher, pumpkin-eater, spy or enforcer of social norms, nor feminist foreperson driving them to market and/or to mark the world. I don't send them off to any of those folks to mold or judge, and I refuse to BECOME any of those folks at home, "in loco publicus."

We um, just invite each other to dance, channel the music into our moves, take turns leading, and for us that is making all the difference in where we go, and what we see when we get there.

So, when Sea asked me what unschooling was like in my family, I pawed through the layers of papers and notes carpeting our second home -- the minivan -- to find my witness scribblings from a couple of recent unschooled spins around the dance floor.

What I see in these stories is a ten-year-old who's never been schooled nor made to read or think or go, and therefore sees things and goes places in his own ways that are great fun to witness.
But here, see what you see:

March 15 - Learning to whistle
After weeks of random fiddling with his lips and tongue and teeth, we're in the car (as usual) and suddenly he gets it!
Big sister and I cheer from the front seat, watch him repeat his contortions and then he explains how he thinks he managed it, a method that sounds decidedly odd --
Okay we say, but that doesn't work for me, I do this and she does that, Dad uses two fingers. He listens with collegial interest and then has a second epiphany in as many minutes, exclaims "OH!" --
"This means everybody in our family has his own special way of whistling!"

(Life lesson! Life lesson!)

March 17 - Sign over bar-and-grill door
"It is unlawful to consume or possess alcoholic beverages within 500 ft. of this establishment and off the licensed premises."
city ord. 4-10

He reads the sign aloud and looks thoughtful.
I ask: Do you understand what that means?
Boy: No.
I say: Which part?
Boy: Then how do they ever get it IN here??

(boom-CHINK!) If seeing the rule of law his way can't startle a laugh from you, schoolthink may be clouding your vision.
Laughing out loud


JJ Ross's picture

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Tid's picture

Vocab questions

Hi, I bumped into this post from somewhere in outer space and being new to English, I am having trouble with some of your vocabulary words.

Could you explain to a noob what is:
Unschooling?
in loco parentis?

The ideas you are so familiar with that you don't even have to explain them sound intriguing to this Martian.

I haven't seen that Sarandon movie, but I like the "witnessing each other's lives" idea. It sounds like a useful frame of mind for a codependent who is fearful of abandonment.


JJ Ross's picture

Hi Tid - I'll Try to Sum Up

School historically is said to "stand in for the parent" under the doctrine termed "in loco parentis." It means acting in the parent's stead, because the parent isn't there to act.

So -- unschooling is basically being there yourself to act as the parent, instead of sending the children away! Then who needs school?
Smiling


JJ Ross's picture

Oh, and I Had to Look Up Noob

and I don't see how you could be one. You admitted your newness and are working to improve quickly in understanding, right?
Smiling

Noob (new*oob) adj.
1. A person who is new and or inexperienced to an environment, situation, or game, but doesn't admit it. This person also carries the belief that they are experienced / skilled in that environment, when reality proves otherwise.

2. A person who continually fails and does not learn from their mistakes, and repeats the process.

3. A person who isn't all "there" but doesn't realize it.


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I always have difficulty expressing my political judgments in a clear, emphatic, and strong way—I feel pretentious, as if I'm saying things that are not quite true. This is because I know I cannot reduce my thoughts about life to the music of a single voice and a single point of view—I am, after all, a novelist, the kind of novelist who makes it his business to identify with all of his characters, especially the bad ones. Living as I do in a world where, in a very short time, someone who has been a victim of tyranny and oppression can suddenly become one of the oppressors, I know also that holding strong beliefs about the nature of things and people is itself a difficult enterprise. I do also believe that most of us entertain these contradictory thoughts simultaneously, in a spirit of good will and with the best of intentions. The pleasure of writing novels comes from exploring this peculiarly modern condition whereby people are forever contradicting their own minds. It is because our modern minds are so slippery that freedom of expression becomes so important: we need it to understand ourselves, our shady, contradictory, inner thoughts, and the pride and shame that I mentioned earlier.


— Orhan Pamuk
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