BTW, did I tell you I was pregnant?
For months I have been trying to lose weight. No matter what I did --diet, Pilates, aerobics, yoga, high-colonics-- my belly wouldn't go down in size. Well, now I know why I have been craving olives
I had incredibly excrutiating pains last night. I thought it was the pasta with creamy porcini sauce I had eaten for dinner, but no, this pain was something else. We live right across the street from a hospital, so I asked the ball and chain to take me there.
Two hours later the creature was born. Yup. I spawned again --and weirdly enough, against my knowledge.
I'm fine now. Had I planned this birth, it wouldn't have gone so smoothly --and drug-free. I mean, I'm on my laptop while the baby sleeps. I can't believe it was that easy.
Here's a pic of April:
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What really happened
The doctor delivered April, healthy baby girl, and did examination of her. He discovered through super advanced genetic testing that the baby is a republican. "But you can love her anyway" the Doctor said. "Like hell I can!", Liza yells back, and takes a can of mace out of her purse and starts to spray. "Die republican scum!!!!!" The doctor tells Liza's husband that he thinks she is overreacting. Liza then turns and sprays the doctor with the mace, "how dare you deliver me a republican baby! die doctor scum!!!!" "Doctor" the husband says as the doctor is on the floor screaming in pain and getting kicked in the stomach and head by Liza, "you think this is overreacting? you don't know her do you?"