It's official : I am not like a man

I have mentioned it before, that when I travel for panels or conferences, it takes me a few days to get back into blogging.

Day trips actually get to me more than transatlantic or transcontinental trips. At least I can sleep if the trips are more than 4 hours long. On short trips, I rarely get to rest --even at the hotel. I guess I am a creature of habit that is sensitive to change.

Which explains my kids comment from the other day.

When I travel I get "penalized" for my absence. I don't think The Kids mind my absences so much as their father who then ... ahem ... disappears during the evenings for the next few days after one of my business trips.

This changes the dynamics of evening reading since, due to his work schedule, that's become his one job in the evenings. And it's one job he usually does as I prepare for my second shift of work in my usual 10-12 hour work days.

So while I do some consulting work or respond to emails, I've heard The Father read from Christopher Paolini's Eragon. This has been going on almost every night for the past 2-3 weeks and I thought last night the kids would want me to read to them from the book since this was going to be the second night on a row they'd miss out on the story.

"Nah ... no thanks", said Thing 1. "You can get us another book."

Incredulously I asked : "Why don't you want me to read from Eragon? I want to know what's going to happen next".

"No offense, Mom, but you're not a man", replied Thing 2.

"What?"

"Yeah ... that's a daddy book, mom", Thing 1 tried to say euphemistically.

"A man's book", barked Thing 2. "I like hearing dad read it because he's a man and the story is about a boy becoming a man ... It's a man's book, you know what a mean".

"Oh ... so I'm not man enough for the book".

"No, you're just not a man", contented Thing 2.

And that was that.

It's official : My kids are not equal opportunity employers in the "manly epic" department.

The job of night time reading is a kind of performance that requires more than the ability to approximate manly qualities. I have been passed over the job of reading, and thus performing, fantasy epics because, simply put, I am not a man.

Am I upset?

I actually find it very amusing. I don't think this is a moment of my kids learning to be sexist. I think it is one of those key developmental moments in which they have identified what they want to see performed as maleness. The way I see it, it's more of a moment of homosocial assertiveness than developmental mysogyny. And I am quite comfortable with that.

We are creatures of habit. This is their way of saying, we don't want "The Man" to be changed for this particular fantasy.

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