The Golden Globes : Of beauties and the breasts
I had to watch the Golden Globes. The've made their irrelevancy relevant and it's like a car crash, you just have to look even though you know what happened and what the outcome will be.
So I watched, to swoon a little over my imaginary boyfriend, Viggo Mortensen; the man who holds an EZPass for the express lane to my loins.
Beauty and the beasts. Isn't he dreamy con ese tajo que me voy a devorar ... yummy yummy goo.
Anyhow, this year I officially turn old; and the older I get, the louder my dirty old woman self grows. I had me a couple of molester moments with Drew Barrymore and Scarlett Johansen.
Ahhh Drew, Drew. Those tatas, trapped in that dress where the punkest most "fuck you" statement of the whole night. Look at them! They're gorgeous! I would so totally go lesbian on her.
Then there's that hussy Scarlett. She's half my age, but girl, I'd so rock her craddle:
Look at those babies. They hang exactly where they ought to be. Natural, free-range, totally organic breasts.
While we are at it, an honorable mention to Queen Latifah who underwent breast REDUCTION surgery years ago. She's looking hot these days, although I hear I don't have to go all lesbian on her because she is already there. Hell-yeah?!
BTW, I missed Isaac Mizrahi's on-camera molestation of Scarlett's kachangas. I love me some Isaac. When I dream of a gay husband (and I do, I honestly want to have one of those), I dream of him being like Isaac. I mean, I'd have a hot guy and a mad fabulous apartment and closet. I'd never have to buy anything because he'd spend his days and nights just shopping for me ... and that's so hot!
Last two bits :
Isn't she a bit overexposed? I love Evan Longoria's dress, but as a latina, I am going to be honest, that white looking nose really bothers the shit out of me. Then again, she's one hermana that likes them black and big. Go Eva! Just don't go spreading your tales of brazilian waxes and dildos all over the place like that. Open a blog girl! Get that stuff on a blog!
Last but not least, my imaginary mother, Catherine Deneuve. The woman is over sixty and I think it's criminal she's looking this gorgeous :
My long-time readers know I'm a Puerto Rican bi-racial mutt : my mom is white and my dad is black. When I was a kid, I'd fantasize I was the Mandingo kid of Catherine Deneuve. And yes, I did see the movie and with my mom, none the less.
Now you know why I am so screwed up.
Bookmark/Search this post with:
| 
| 
| 
| 
| 
Celebrity | Golden Globes | Humor | Popular Culture | Sex | TV | Catherine Deneuve | David Cronenberg | Drew Barrymore | Peter Jackson | Queen Latifah | Scarlett Johanson | Viggo Mortensen
Awards are one of those ways to buy influence and power
Submitted by liza on 19 January 2006 - 11:35am.
The Golden Globes is the perfect example for that. You don't recognize the people that are really struggling. You get all the power brokers of Hollywood in a room, pump them with alcohol and stroke their egos.
They all know it's a game, but part of the business. A necessary evil, albeit one of the lesser kinds.
Most "hits" and especially "failures" in the US make all their money back in foreign box offices. So the studios have come to understand it as a necessary ritual to keep the "aliens" happy. They know they need them to sell tickets around the world.
It's the nature of the Hollywood beast.
» email this comment | 0 points
So It's Obvious What We Need . . .
Submitted by JJ Ross on 19 January 2006 - 12:55pm.
Time to inaugurate the Culture Kitchies!
To create and apportion our own measure of accountability for the worst of what's being wrought upon our culture? JJ
» email this comment | 0 points
Um, Liza?
Watched with my 15-year-old daughter and had a quite, um -- different experience. Lucky for me, she focused only on their shows, not what they were showing.
Do you know much about the Golden Globes, maybe you could advise me on the backstory? (not what's out in front, too much of that already!) I never thought to inquire before, even idly - are they really awarded by a tight-knit band of dirty old men in their eighties and nineties, pretending to be foreign correspondents and photographers, just so they can pose with all those bodacious ta-tas and sell the dummied-up images of celebrity they thus extract? Or is this another creepy case of wikipedia guerilla warfare?
Either way, it sounds dirty to me to me too, but not because of the women and THEIR globes. What interests me is how this apparently unjustifiable and perverted process somehow accomplishes a desirable end result, identifying art the public and critics do perceive as worthy. So maybe it gives us an example of spontaneous collective wisdom for our own experimentation?
JJ