For the Sake of "Women"

Cross-posted from Diary of a New Homemaker

RANT!Becky says Linda Hirschman gets it wrong again, and I agree. So much so, I feel a rant coming on and I've ditched today's planned "sermon" in favor of it.

Being a mother, I'm just plain tired in general. But these days I'm especially tired of people like Hirschman and her counterpart, Leslie Bennetts. They can both bite me, and so can the media that keeps setting these tired old arguments up.

I am tired of being told to be a good little feminist and do what's good for "women" instead of what's good for my family and myself. I am tired of being told I'm betraying the sisterhood by staying home. I am tired of listening to academics and pundits, claiming to be feminists, holding on to classist second wave claptrap like that espoused by these two. And I am most tired of the focus being put upon individual women rather than the society that makes it increasingly impossible for families to exist these days.

Why must academic feminists keep buying into the corporatist framework--that the only work worth doing is paid work? The corporatist philosophy leads to the dissolving of both familial and community ties, and everything becomes for sale, everything is a commodity. Motherhood is for sale--for that's what a daycare is, isn't it? Paid motherhood? I am not a commodity. You are not a commodity. Our children and our partners are not commodities.

The fight is not with other women. The fight is with a media, a corporate structure and a government that insist on fracturing our social ties to each other, that make us ever more dependent on corporations and government for every little thing, instead of ourselves, our families and our neighbors. I refuse to participate in that. In fact, I'm doing everything I can to rebuild those ties.

How do we do that? Obviously, political involvement, even if it's as simple as voting, is key. But here's an old chestnut from the Second Wave: "The Personal Is Political." At no time has that been more true than it is today. Today we have to take individual, personal, political acts to fight back against the forces that want to divide us up into solitary consuming units, individuals instead of families and communities.

  • It is a political act to stay home.
  • It is a political act for you and your partner to put family first.
  • It is a political act to support mama-owned home businesses.
  • It is a political act not to shop at WalMart if you can possibly avoid it, and I know in some parts of the world (jennye) you don't have much of a choice.
  • It is a political act, and a patriotic act, to use less energy.
  • It is a political act to make community.
  • It is a political act not just to grow your own food, but increasingly, to COOK your own food--how crazy is THAT, when you're bucking the mainstream by cooking from scratch!
  • And it goes without saying that civic involvement is a political act. Whether you're home or not, find the time to be involved, somehow.

I will never consider myself a consumer first and a person second. I will never consider myself a bad feminist for staying home. I will never stop fighting the corporatist agenda on both the personal level and the community level. And I will never stop yelling at the top of my lungs that traditional women's work has worth, whatever the gender of whoever does it, not as long as I have a breath.


LynnS's picture

Comment viewing options

Select your preferred way to display the comments and click "Save settings" to activate your changes.
liza's picture

this particular quote has me reeling

My goal in writing The Feminine Mistake was to provide women with what I saw as one-stop-shopping that would help close this information gap. My goal was to gather into a single neat package all the financial, legal, sociological, psychological, medical, labor-force, child-rearing and other information necessary for them to protect themselves. My reporting revealed that the bad news is just as ominous as I'd feared; so many women are unaware of practical realities that range from crucial changes in the divorce laws to the difficulties of reentering the work force and the penalties they pay for taking a time-out. I devoted two chapters to financial information alone.

But the good news is just as dramatic -- and equally neglected in much of the current debate. Work confers enormous benefits in addition to a paycheck. Despite the undeniable challenges of the juggling act, working women tend to be happier and even healthier than stay-at-home moms, in ways that have been documented by a broad range of surprising medical, psychological and social science data. Their incomes give them power in their marriages and options in the larger world, not to mention opportunities that benefit their families. Women are socialized not to brag, but it's very gratifying to make money, be successful, and get recognition for your work. Like most men, many working women wouldn't even consider giving up such rewards.

WTF!

WTF

Seriouly. It is offensive beyond repair.


NanceConfer's picture

Homeschooling SAHMs bashed too

Those of us who not only have the audacity to stay home but stay home with our children, got to hear about it here:

http://pandagon.net/2007/05/28/when-youve-not-stopped-looking-at-your-te...

Nance -- this by way of the ODonnellWeb -- a blog run by a hsing Dad http://www.odonnellweb.com/ -- what must they think of him!


liza's picture

I found this post incredibly offensive

so much so I am writing a whole effing post about it.

>Sad

BTW Nance, you have blogging privileges here at CK. USE THEM! You don't have to be a long form blogger like most of us here. This is the type of HEADS UP I'd love for someone to compile on a weekly basis for us here at the 'kitchen Eye-wink


NanceConfer's picture

Thanks!

Don't be shocked if I actually string several sentences together one of these days! Smiling

Nance


Fill up our coffee fund

Visit our sponsors

BlogAds

Visit our sponsors

Who's online

There are currently 3 users and 2014 guests online.

Get our Digestifs du jour

Nibble daily on our brainy goodness with our daily syndication digest. You'll receive an email with a list and links to the previous day's posts.



Powered by FeedBlitz

culturekitchens

The Publisher
Liza Sabater

Daily servings of political dissent
culturekitchen

Grassroots News and
Activism for New Yorkers

Daily Gotham

Feminist Bloggers
Network

BlogSheroes

A new kind of vouyerism
Voogling

Art + Code + Philosophy
Potatoland.blog

Got any dirt, tips, leads or money for us? Then drop us a line or two at editors [at] culturekitchen [dot] com or use our general contact form to reach everybody in the editorial team ASAP.


Member's articles and stories

More stories

Words to live by

"I must admit moreover that it may not be easy, in every possible case, to trace the line of separation between the rights of religion and the Civil authority with such distinctness as to avoid collisions and doubts on unessential points. The tendency of a usurpation on one side or the other, or to a corrupting coalition or alliance between them, will be best guarded by an entire abstinence of the Government from interference in any way whatever, beyond the necessity of preserving public order, and protecting each sect against trespass on its legal rights by others."


— -- James Madison, letter to Reverend Adams, in Robert L. Maddox, Separation of Church and State: Guarantor of Religious Freedom (1987) p. 39