As we go into the final weekend...

..here's a reminder of how the media works.

AP, Washington, 3 November, 2006: In a press conference today, George Bush announced a new Federal program aimed at educating grade school students about the true material composition of the moon, which Bush maintains consists mainly of processed cheese spread.

"We owe a lot to great American companies like Velveeta and Philadelphia. Without them, our moon, that great American tradition, would not be there to light the night skies for our brave soldiers fighting for victory in Iraq. This new program will educate our youngsters about the true role of all of these American heroes."

Some Democrats took issue with Bush's assertions, maintaining that there is no scientific evidence that the moon consists of anything but rocks. As proof, Senator Ted Kennedy cited rocks brought back from the moon by the Apollo astronauts.

Kennedy's claims were sternly rebuked by scholars at an independent think tank, the Cato Institute. The head of its creationism/flying dinosaurs division, Howard Redsnout, used withering criticism in rebutting the theories of the Massachusetts Senator: "How Ted Kennedy would have the gall to mention rocks after he let a young woman drown in a river full of them is beyond me. Clearly, Fat Teddy is just carrying water for his elitist liberal friends up in Cambridge, no pun intended."

Some Democrats immediately distanced themselves from Kennedy's theories. Gene Taylor, D-MS, immediately went on Fox News to distance himself from the radical views of his colleague in the upper House. "Like all real Americans, I want our brave men and women in Iraq to win, and I don't see how they can do that at night without adequate light. Remember, what Velveeta has given, Velveeta can take away, and I wouldn't want them to remove their product from the night sky because some liberals just hate George Bush so much they lose sight of what really matters. If that happens, the terrorists win."

Radio host Rush Limbaugh made the controversy a mainstay of his three hour show yesterday, asking callers to explain how Democrats in their immediate geographic location hate America, with special attention to what he described as "these liberals, folks, who even hate American cheese. Let's just tell them the moon is made of Brie, that will make them happy".

Religious leaders associated with White House faith-based initiatives enthusiastically welcomed Bush's statement. "1 Samuel 17:18 is entirely clear on this subject. George Bush deserves great credit for using the power of his office to make America more inclusive to alternate points of view, such as the biblically based morality embraced by my denomination", said Rev. Hiram Hogwash of the Milk and Honey Institute. Rev. Hogwash's institution is charged by statute with implementing the program announced by Mr. Bush.

The partisan controversy predictably resonated in the so-called "blogosphere"; web logs or "blogs" are often written by partisan activists, influencing their content significantly. One such "blog", the centrist Redstate.com, launched a contest involving readers sending cheese doodles spray-painted in the red, white and blue colors of the American flag to Senate Democrats, and urging them to support the troops. Reaction on the liberal blogs, such as "Daily Kos", were more muted, with some writers asserting that Bush's claims should be viewed in relation to voting machine technology produced by Diebold, Inc., and seen as indicative of putative republican attempts to "steal the election".

Polls show the American people nearly evenly divided on the question of the moon's material makeup; 44% agreed with Mr. Bush's view, while 50% disagreed, and 6% had not heard enough to have an opinion. Spokesmen for the campaign committees of the two parties declined comment, citing the need for further study before Tuesday's election.

A NASA spokesman recently appointed by the Bush administration also had no comment on the matter, other than to note that NASA is bound to support the policy objectives of the executive branch.