Kim Jong

As The Patriot Acts: Episode 6




As the Patriot Acts: An Episodic Adventure in Americanism
Rabid Fiction by Tara Parks
Episode 6: Everyday With These Monsters is Halloween,or Even The Ghost of Abe is Scared of These Sh*ts

(Deep in the massive pantry of the Camp David kitchen, where we last saw our poor misbegotten assholes in Episode 5...well, they weren’t really inside of it; more like in front of it. But they had to go back in the pantry to move forward with the plot because Bill remembered that there was a can of Vienna Sausages in there and he wouldn’t start the scene until he ate them.)

Oprah: Has anyone seen Gail? I need her to run down to the gate and meet Steadman; Al Reynolds is driving him over here with Maya Angelou and Jesse Jackson. You know I can’t move forward without a poem and a prayer.

Hillary: We have more pressing problems at hand, Oprah. First, how do I look? Second, we have a Vice-President that wants to have a three way with the two of you. If that doesn’t signal that it’s Halloween, I don’t what does. All of this is getting in the way of the war.

Oprah: I thought you were against the war?

Hillary: Listen: I am not going to start speaking out against it now. I mean, there are things you stand for and things you look like you stand for. Condoleezza, what do you purpose we do? If what you say is true, that President Bush is indeed now a genius, well, I’ll sleep with my husband. (Bill chokes on the Vienna Sausage juice he is guzzling)


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Words to live by

I believe we should focus our efforts first and foremost against those who attacked us on September 11 and who have thus far gotten away with it. the vast majority of those who sponsored, planned and implemented the cold-blooded murder of more than 3000 Americans are still at large, still neither located, nor apprehended, much less punished and neutralized. I do not believe that we should allow ourselves to be distracted from this urgent task simply because it is proving to be more diffucult and lengthy than was predicted. Great nations persevere and then prevail...

I believe that we are perfectly capanle of staying the course in the war against Osama bin Laden and his terrorist network, while simultaneously taking the steps necessary to build an international coalition to join us in taking on Saddam Hussein in a timely fashion. If you're going after Jesse James, you ought to organize your posse first. Especially if you're already in the middle of a gunfight with somebody who's out after you.


— Al Gore in 2002...shortly before Bush invaded Iraq


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