Ted Nug

(Deep in the massive pantry of the Camp David kitchen, where we last saw our poor misbegotten assholes in Episode 5...well, they weren’t really inside of it; more like in front of it. But they had to go back in the pantry to move forward with the plot because Bill remembered that there was a can of Vienna Sausages in there and he wouldn’t start the scene until he ate them.)

Oprah: Has anyone seen Gail? I need her to run down to the gate and meet Steadman; Al Reynolds is driving him over here with Maya Angelou and Jesse Jackson. You know I can’t move forward without a poem and a prayer.

Hillary: We have more pressing problems at hand, Oprah. First, how do I look? Second, we have a Vice-President that wants to have a three way with the two of you. If that doesn’t signal that it’s Halloween, I don’t what does. All of this is getting in the way of the war.

Oprah: I thought you were against the war?

Hillary: Listen: I am not going to start speaking out against it now. I mean, there are things you stand for and things you look like you stand for. Condoleezza, what do you purpose we do? If what you say is true, that President Bush is indeed now a genius, well, I’ll sleep with my husband. (Bill chokes on the Vienna Sausage juice he is guzzling)