The Clintons

As the Patriot Acts: Episode 7




As the Patriot Acts: An Episodic Adventure in Americanism
Rabid Fiction by Tara Parks
Episode 7: Even Fighter Pilots Crash and Burn, or You Fall Down Go Bye-Bye

(In our last episode, Rumsfeld was fatally injured in a car wreck that involved Kissinger, Papa Bush, Laura, and Condoleezza. The fatality was not specified then, but after he lost his job, I decided that just like a night with the newly single Kevin Federline, it proved too good of an opportunity to pass up. K-Fed would make a formidable WMD, you know. Threats of more live performances could bring any country to their knees. From Webster Hall to the White House/ countries fear that rappin’ louse! But he will never appear in this series because he is too busy selling his recording equipment. Hopefully.

When we last left our fearless fuck-ups, George and Tony Blair were doubling on a bike from Camp David to the scene of the accident because George’s new lightning-inspired intelligence has also given him the ability to sense when his loved ones are in danger. Too bad this is just fiction. That could have helped him in this last election. Anywwwaaayyy... George’s eyes widen in horror as he peddles over the hill; Tony buries his head into his into his back, wrapping his arms tightly around George’s waist.)


Tara Parks's picture

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