Tara Parks's blog

Ahhhh, yes indeed. It is that time of year again. We are gearing up for the Presidential election bullshit I mean campaigns. And in honor of that special time of forthrightness, I give you a few of my suggestions for possible candidates' campaign slogans. Now, some of these people may not run this time around, but like Rocky, they will surely rise up for that final bout at some point. And by "final", I mean, "God help us".

1. Sam Brownback: Vote for the Skidmark
2. Hillary Clinton: I'm In and I'm In to Win, Though the South Hates Me and I Hope You Forgot Whitewater and So What I Let You Down on the War and Obama Who?
3. Rudy Giuliani: Taking Care of the Terrorists Like I Took Care of Donna
4. John Edwards: Rockin'the House at Riverside and Beyond...Uh, Yo.
5. Al Gore: It's Gettin' Hot in Here So Take Off All Your Clothes for Global Warmin'!
6. John Kerry: Eat More Ketchup So I Have Something to Fall Back On
7. Jeb Bush: What's a Slogan?
8. Barack Obama: Only Slightly Overwhelmed in 2008
4. John McCain: First the Cong; Then the Dong!

Oh, I can't wait to see the commercials!

At around six years old, I rode a hospital elevator with George Wallace. His legs had been destroyed by a failed assassination attempt and hunkered down in his wheelchair, he seemed like a nice old man. But when we got off the elevator, Mama said he was a bad man who didn't like black people. I really couldn't reconcile that smiling face with badness. If I remember correctly, he touched my hand. But Mama didn't believe he had changed for the better. History says he did, but history says a lot of things. One thing is for sure: someone shot him. Can't dispute that.

Now I sit here and I think about another historical figure: Martin Luther King, first and foremost a preacher before he was a political activist. King and Wallace are forever tied together, perhaps not just in their struggle against each other, but also in their love of God. Both quoted the bible frequently and lived what they considered a rightous life. And this makes me uncomfortable about what side Martin Luther King would favor today regarding gay rights, women's rights, and abortion. I know some of you are gonna wanna whip my ass, but I wonder if he would support any of the other issues besides racial equality that we on this site favor.

I believe in God and an afterlife but I think I am allergic to organized religion, except for the study of it. My brother and I are 2 out of 5.5 southerners never to be baptized. In the much of the south and a great deal of the black community, life centers around the church or a jail cell. I saw a lot of people come and go from both places, baptized or not. I don't know if this heavily influenced my politics; I guess so. I certainly don't come from the usual progressive family setting. My parents are not artist elites. They are very intelligent and creative but they always worked hard. Growing up, my dad lived in a southern ghetto in one room with 11 kids; my mother lived a rural life, so the empathy for poverty and the underdog ran strong in our house. Rules were made to be broken and mean people slapped (only when the occasion arose, of course). But I grew up believing that all people deserved a fair shot and backgrounds were not used to judge. This is how my parents said it.

President Bush's tactics prove crude. He marked his terrority in Iraq by urine washing the sand, monkey style. He wiped his ass with our constitution and waves his accomplishments in the air alongside that organ grinder, Dick Cheney. And now he must have decided to go full force with the monkey functions by spewing his diarrhea of the mouth to convince millions of Americans that despite the wishes of Congress, it is his duty to send those 21,000 troops to Iraq BY GOD. (Hey, I'm a southerner; I can get away with the phrase because I don't sound nasal.) Anyway, today I felt such disgust with the state of my country that I thought about what it would be like to put President Bush and his fellow upset tummy tree dwellers on trial for war attrocities and financial crimes.

This subject provokes a lot of ire. I figure I am past the point of worrying about ruffling a few feathers. I mean, that attitude helped Bush gain eight years in office. So let's get real and talk about what you think he should be tried for and why. And if you don't agree he should be put on trial, why not?

And by trial, I don't mean impeachment. That may be the first step, but I hope not the last. I mean on criminal trial here in the States for both charges. I think that is a stronger statement; I have yet to witness an impeachment that impressed me. I realize he could be tried by the International Criminal Court, but they usually only intervene when a country is unable to hold the trial itself. However, doing it internationally might send a meaningful message.

What is up with these avant-guard artist-wanna be's and the socially aware who constantly complain about our government's lack of charity yet can't spare a dime for a homeless person?

I live pay check to pay check but I seldom turn down a request from someone who asks for money, unless I really just don't have it. But I see this happen all the time. On the subway especially. Commuters discussing the need for change suddenly turn into in-transit Helen Kellers if approached by the homeless. The argument that you don't want to give money because they'll spend it on alcohol or drugs fails miserably. You don't want to give money because you are just as tight-assed as our current administration. Even when you give money to a "proper"---and probably mismanaged---charity, there's no telling how that money will be allocated. I choose not to worry about how a homeless person uses the money. Whether you donate to a charity or give someone cash hand to hand, the money will probably not be used as it was intended, except in the rarest of cases. But the proper charity does give you a tax writer off. Oh, I get it!

Think about living on the streets. I imagine it consists of one goddamn nightmare of violence and pain after the next. Many of us claim to be close to it. So how can you refuse to give assistance, even if it is going to be used for a bit of hallucinogenic or Night Train fueled escape? Hell, take the time to buy someone some food, if it won't make you late for some Lower East Side Happy Hour.

While I understand the importance of mourning, dignity, and paying respect to the dead, I believe that if you died on Decemeber 26th, then your-not- wishing-to-be-President-but-Speaker-of-the-House- soul has already risen up to that great rotunda in the sky. And as such, your body should already be buried or cremated.

The money wasted on these burials slays me. The United States contains so many people that are hungry, homeless, and uninsured that the money spent seems like a slap in the face to the living who suffer these indignities. Our governemnt tells us they can't afford to feed everybody, but they sure can afford to bury the hell outta someone.

Even James Brown's solid gold casket offends me. Who the fuck needs a solid gold casket?
He's the Godfather of Soul! He should be keepin' it real, even in the afterlife. (I am also not one for mythologizing the dead so I just have to mention the fact that James Baby shot up an insurance seminar because he thought someone used his office bathroom. Also, he endorsed Richard Nixon for President. I guess Nixon's resignation was "Payback! Hey hey hey!")

Of course, you are not suppose to point out that the money could be better spent or that the dead might have done some awful things because it is "disrespectful".

And I agree. The truth almost always disrespects those who benefit from the waste and the lies.

If you read my previous blog A Christmas Suicide, Or Thoughts Of, you know that I was told on Christmas Eve that I must move out of the apartment I just finished moving into the night before.

Today, I got in touch with the woman who runs the roommate service. Her name is Margaret and she said the lady I rented the room from wants me out because I came home from a party early in the morning and she thinks this is unChristian like; therefore, she made up a lie (like a good Christian) about her family coming from Florida to live in the room that I was renting. Now, I thought the family story sounded suspicious and to be honest, this makes more sense because I know she is religious. The only thing she told me when I moved in was that there was to be no smoking, drinking, or overnight guests, which quite frankly is fine with me or I wouldn't have taken the room. Being under pressure to write a book and all, I prefer things quiet. However, I didn't know that going to a holiday party/poetry reading was forbidden or that my life outside of the apartment would be monitored. This lady told Tony (see previous blog; he is the guy that made a pass at me and I slapped) that she fears I am an ungodly slut drunk.

Well. I hold very stong spiritual beliefs and I don't happen to think coming home late from a party is a violation of anything other than a false human made perception of sexual sin. (By the way: I didn't get laid at this shindig; perhaps when I finally move out, I'll have learned to say in Spanish, "If you have a son or know someone I can fuck, tell 'em about me!")

told several of you how excited I was about my new apartment.

Last night I finished moving in at 7. I moved everything all by myself and it was hard work but well worth the effort. I figured this place would be my last share until I finished my book, which is due at the publisher's on June 15th. Hopefully by then I will be able to rent my own place. I have to do things this way because of a combination of reasons; poor financial decisions in my twenties and a lack of money as a result being major among them.

This morning, the woman who lives here hands me her cell phone and tells me Tony is on the phone. She doesn't speak English so I thought perhaps he was just going to relay a message for her. Now Tony is the agent who my roommate service went through to obtain this place. Margaret at the roommate service told me he is a total drunk but only deals in the best places, so she uses him frequently. and after the rat infested dump I just fled, that sounded fine by me.

I said, "Hello?"

He said, "Tara, her family is coming. You have to leave."

I said, "You mean for the night?" Tis the season and all.

He said, "No. Forever."

I guess between eight o'clock last night and soometime today, her fucking Florida family fucks decided to move up here and now I have to leave. Tony said not to worry. She is giving me my money back and I should just come down to his office and he can find me a room and we can have sex.